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bored

I have a bit of a bad conscience about something.

I got my new MP3-CD-player yesterday, the Napa DAV 398. The user interface sucks and the playback pauses unexpectedly, and the radio doesn't work very well either. I'm going to return it.

I'm living at Katri's until Monday morning. There's also a deadline on Monday but my software isn't going to be ready =/. Tomorrow, we're going to Tallinn, the cruise is 12€ both ways.

Tonight, a movie. And such. Restless. Got some of my photos printed at the color laser printer of mom's school.

Sat 2003-11-29 16:41 in diary No comments #link

not truly for nothingness

Foolish boy, selfish boy
on the lookout for love
catching
innocent smiles, friendly words
building his world
on these strange little metaphors
No he couldn't have let it go,
your tender touch nor
some short embrace

Simply depend his life on it
(or God, "whatever you know")
the Fundamental way of Life
well yes, sure it'll be
soon forgotten, another one found
sweeter, sexier, "just feels more real"
I'll be your host for tonight,
Mr. in vain, not just for this life

Wed 2003-11-26 16:07 in poetry No comments #link

notifiction

Instead of actually studying as (much as) I was supposed to, this weekend has been full of discussion.

Tonight we had a long talk with my roommate, Nikolay. Topics: School, women, friendships, relationships, sex. Still, I think in average, it stayed on a relatively smart level. Also, we had a couple of really nice laughs.

Also, after this I felt the urge to translate the lyrics of the song Leikkikalujäppinen by a band called Allekirjoittanut (translates roughly as Yours Truly) and send them to him. The translation is also below, in the [more] section of this entry. I might have misheard the lyrics and I only really tried to convey the meaning, not the artistic style or anything.

Poll: do you think it is easy to tell that this entry is an extended one, from the front page of the journal? In other words, is the [more] link below easy enough to find? Please comment.

{ There's more! See full article }

Mon 2003-11-24 02:31 in diary 8 comments #link

Meanwhile disempowered

Once in a while I get an urge to tell the world about the wonderful software I'm using and the way I'm using them. Then again, it all changes too often and then I would have to update the page continuously. So maybe I'll just write here and let the information get obsolete in peace.

I just put the Mozilla browser+mail thingie away in favour of the faster Mozilla Firebird and Thunderbird. Now I'm using the Breeze theme for Firebird, but I'm not quite decided on the Thunderbird theme yet.

In IRCnet, I'm happily using irssi, which also has connections to a Bitlbee server (which in turn connects me to the Jabber network on netlab.cz), as well ass sometimes the Lysti.net server. The irssi+Bitlbee+Jabber combination allows me to access ICQ, MSN and Y! instant messaging networks through my IRC client so I don't need separate software provided by the IM networks. On milk, my Debian machine, I also have a bot running with auto-op, statistics and some other capabilities (#pullopeli).

...

I have tons of other software too, but I'm also kind of bored with this entry already.

{ There's more! See full article }

Sun 2003-11-23 15:26 in diary No comments #link

Wow.

I'm flattered. They've included my exposition in aukea.net even on the photography main page.

(The link will not have the content mentioned here permanently so if you wish to check it out, please do so now. A probably more permanent link to the exposition itself is in the previous entry.)

Spent several hours with Hankku today. Interesting conversations (=. Not lonely.

Sun 2003-11-23 03:33 in diary No comments #link

I don't remember a thing

Twice this week I've wondered afterwards whether I should have thought more before I acted. Social situations where people can make me excited about things and then I say things I might not mean. I might curse or talk things I shouldn't about people. Not much, but I'm disturbed. By me.

I was at Eepa's, with Hankku and Grandpa_C, and at one point this other fellow as well I believe his name was Antti. We drunk some glögi (my dictionary says it's "hot, spiced wine" in English but it's not really wine) and ate some chocolate bakings by Eepa. Fun, but now I'm tired, and also I've got way too many things to do before next week.

Furthermore, I'm quite pleased about the feedback I've been getting at aukea about some rather random photos.

Sat 2003-11-22 00:52 in diary No comments #link

Slightly retarded

The weekend in Turku was fun. Again, Rigi served as our honorable chauffeur. Spent some time in the "main concert" with Delirious? &co. and talked about all kinds of stuff with Hankku during the show. I did like Delirious?' music, too (kind of awkward with that question mark, not?).

During the bus trip to Turku centre we solved all of the world with Eepa. Unfortunately I've forgotten most of it by now. Eepa also borrowed me the money for the bus trip, since all my money was on my bank account which I couldn't access.

After roughly half an hour of being lost around Turku centre I found my way to Tero's place. We watched Space Balls and parts of Animatrix, but I fell sort of asleep rather quickly after that. Still, it was fun seeing all the folks. In the morning I and Mikael took a walk around the neighbourhood of the student housing area. It didn't look nearly as much of a slum as it had the previous evening.

Yesterday I got my camera back from Jenni. Also, I bought new shoelaces (the old ones were falling apart). My "old" shoes feel brand new now, physically even.

Tue 2003-11-18 11:11 in diary No comments #link

Gonna give my heart away

Again, pretending to be doing things.

pilpi.net/blog popularity chart according to pinseri.com. Of, what a sad view. Or perhaps this was what I was going for =P.

Also, some new test results from an enneagram sampler

Fri 2003-11-14 16:07 in diary No comments #link

Piano, bloody PEACEFULLY

Actually, I'm already regretting the rather pathological tone of the previous entry. My day has been relatively a-ok. Four hours of two different flavours of journalism. The end part of the day was beautiful, with the small Bible study group we have on Wednesdays. It was warm and lovely. Lots of talk. We prayed and studied the Acts. Received some rather lovely e-mails today.

Wed 2003-11-12 23:19 in diary No comments #link

Pea, nuts

Sitä niinku istuu tässä vaan, eikä tiedä niinku mitä.
Niinku surffailisko johonki muttei tiedä mihinkä.
Vai idlaisko vaik tual irkin pualel, joo on siel ne n kanavaa auki, mut eihän kukaan oikeesti puhu mitään järkevää.
Vois sitä warettaaki jotain kamaa tualt mut oikeesti sarjoi on paljo kivempi kattoo jotenki ku ne tulee oikeesti telkkarist johonki (epä-)sopivaan aikaan.
Ja niinku siis en mä tiedä. Pitäis siivotaki ja syödä joskus, niiku jotai oikeeta.
Mut ei, ääniaallot, no kai tätä musiikikski vois kutsua, vaan soljuu niinku korvista ja. Ja. Niin.
Ei tietookaan mistään mielekkäästä. Ei just nyt. Ja sehän toimii.

http://www.students.tut.fi/~funktio/tukala.htm
http://www.themeatrix.com/

Sorry for this incomprehensible wordly matter. Too bad I can't just throw up in speech in any other language than Finnish, yet. (No, you really don't want to know the meaning of the above words.)

Wed 2003-11-12 22:11 in links No comments #link

walk like a dead man

I feel zombieish. There was an exam I took and I spent almost all of the time. In theory, I now have both the hypermedia courses I planned for this fall finished.

I'm in the cs department Linux machine class. Waiting to get some food, the 'restaurant' opens at half past ten. A while ago cadot sat next to me. Everybody seems dead tired.

I managed to do the graphical UI programming exercises last night. I had accidentally done one of them during the weekend while fiddling around with the course project.

A bit lonely. But I guess there's no one else to blame for that.

Tue 2003-11-11 10:06 in diary No comments #link

Delirious?

There was a lunar eclipse tonight. I missed it - first I was an hour early and then I was a couple of minutes late.

Still coding. The MFC version of my organization chart editor is beginning to get sorted out... I made a nice little pseudo-3D pic for fun's sake. Sort of a side product. (The original size was twice as large.)



Feeling satisfied although there's nothing much going on.

Sun 2003-11-09 04:09 in diary 2 comments #link

Love?

Depeche Mode: Freelove

It still makes me a bit sad that the people I've talked with about these lyrics understand this opposite to how I do. In my opinion, it's not about taking no responsibility over a relationship and doing what one pleases (as in the notion of one night stands or free sex). To me, it's about being there for someone and not demanding anything back. Actually, the regular conception of a relationship is rather selfish in the light of these lyrics, since I think it implicitly includes the notion of two individuals "trading" caring. Which, by the way, sucks, since love should be altruistic by definition.

Sat 2003-11-08 12:54 in diary 1 comment #link

Soitetaan vain humppaa

Nalle Puh (in Finnish)
A version enabled for other browsers than IE, too

Yeah. Elias sent me this test but it didn't work on my Mozilla so I had to fix it (=.

This morning seems beautiful. It's sunny and bright outside and I don't feel that bad. Listening to Maija Vilkkumaa, dreaming and coding. Jenni is, if not there already, then at least on her way to Egypt.

I've promised to go grab something to drink and chat with Nikolay, the roommate, tonight. He seems to have stopped smoking in the flat after I contacted the Tampere Student Housing Foundation that rents us these rooms. They sent him a warning.

I don't have anything particular to do or to be, and the thought disturbs me if I bother to think about it. So I've decided to try to not care.

Sat 2003-11-08 11:57 in diary No comments #link

Drift

I feel lost and lonely. There's this feeling that makes me want to believe that, even though people in general seem to want to like me, I'm actually corrupted and will deceive everybody.

Radiohead's Creep seems to have the perfect lyrics for my current mood.

It'll probably go away before the morning. Annoying to have so many feelings I don't know how to describe.

All those people. Right now I would like no one to read this, which is almost true anyway.

My hands are awfully dry.

Thu 2003-11-06 22:48 in diary No comments #link

Party: Post Mortem

Playing: Down Low - Johnny B.

Last night wasn't very pleasurable. Chatting with Elina and Salla, feeling lonely and longing for the safety of touch. I went to sleep at oneish, and spontaneously woke up at about five thirty, assuming that it's time to wake up. After a shower, discovering that it actually wasn't time to wake up, I decided to take a bike ride. This is strange - taking care of my body seems to have ended up as one of the lowest of my priorities these days. I guess, in the morning it seems there's still the entire day left, so there's some time to spare for doing something not-so-obviously-and-immediately useful.

Actually, it was obviously and immediately useful. I feel kind of great now. I just never come to think of that at the times I should go out and spend some energy.

Waking up early serves another purpose, as well. In general, I don't selfevidently (according to my dictionary, that actually does spell as one word) feel very safe in my life. If I get up early enough it somehow means that I'm a decent citizen, and although I dislike the fact that I care about such things, I just feel better right now than I probably would ... if I hadn't woken up.

I took quite a few photos during this trip of mine. I visited the Suolijärvi lake. There was a nice little hut on the beach (unfortunately, not very focused). After a while of shooting there, a lady showed up on the beach and, as I imagined, studied me and my doings in the beach at about six thirty doubtfully. So I decided to return the favour. How mean of me. The lady also managed to put the beach lights on, I guess she was there for swimming in the *cold* lake - who knows. Anyway, I got a chance to shoot the pier, as well.

In fact, the rest of the photos were taken before the lake, but I'll just post them here. fog_people, street_lites.

Off to study now, I guess.

Mon 2003-11-03 08:11 in diary No comments #link

Olaus' party

"love is some hippie thing"

Feeling a bit tired already. People around me are playing a board game called "Terapia" (therapy), trying to figure out each other's characteristics or something.

I took photos of most, if not all, of the guests. Will probably publish the rest of them... soon. The most convincing costume, in my opinion, was that of Jari's - he had a really nice dracula look.

Now people have ended up talking religion around me. Christianity, mostly. Teaching religion in public schools. The changes in Christianity in different times. So on. I'm mostly just listening. I'm beginning to feel tired.

All in all, there was tons of warmth among all the people that were here. And there were a lot of us (=. Olaus' parties are usually pretty great.

I expected many things about this weekend, almost non of the materialized. But I'm really happy about this party.

Thank you God.

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Sun 2003-11-02 01:45 in diary No comments #link

Rankkoja ihmissuhteita

More leaves, taken earlier this fall.

I figured out my costume for the party, will post pictures after the weekend. (=

Sat 2003-11-01 00:31 in diary No comments #link