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underneath myself

Marcia's spiritual journey - a journey to Christianity

Coding, pondering. Frustrated since my software is getting ready slower than I thought, but that's the way it always seems to go anyway. Met Hankku today during the couple of hours she was in Tampere.

Tue 2003-12-30 02:16 in diary No comments #link

e- wh wh eee se on

Tampere, since Saturday. Tampere and me. It's less warm than I thought, it feels less like home than I thought it would. I made some vegetable food, slightly improvising but still mostly according to a recipe I got from Neria a rather long time ago. I'm coding the Java version of the tree drawing application... or I'm supposed to. Well I am, now.

It's incredibly cold.

I'm thinking about publishing the rest of the texts I have hidden on the hard drive...

rather cute

Mon 2003-12-29 13:21 in diary No comments #link

Christ-mas jingles

Two nights slept now at Töölö, Helsinki - my dad's home. Christmas Eve passed, it was rather nice. Emil got lots of presents - and even I got some, even though I'm actively trying to escape the vicious circle of everyone having to try to think of things to buy for people who already have everything they need.

After Emil went to sleep and everyone else gathered around to watch the telly or to listen to Anna tell jokes, I connected to the SSH shell on milk and actually managed to fix a dependency problem apt seemed to have. After SSH upgrades I was recommended to reboot the machine, so I did, remotely. There were some exciting moments waiting to succesfully get a SSH connection to the thing again. Nerdy Christmas? Nope, just my strange way of relaxing.

Been playing with Emil a lot, to the point of being rather tired. Every day there has been a quarrel or something, but I guess it's a part of the deal... of spending Christmas with a family, which doesn't seem to care about the true meaning of the entire celebration.

A couple of days ago, in the telly, a congregation was introduced that restrained completely from celebrating Christmas, because Jesus never actually told anyone to celebrate His birthday. Made me think...

Thu 2003-12-25 16:41 in diary No comments #link

bubbelvatten

Tired. I always become strangely tired and sad in a non-nostalgic way when I spend time in the home of my father's family (where I'm now). I don't know why... my father is a strange personality.

I read some of C.S. Lewis' book The Screwtape letters (Paholaisen kirjeopisto in Finnish). I like it muchly, but again I'm wondering what sense does it make to read about other people's views on God when I haven't really even formed my view of Him very well - based on the Bible and the Bible only.

Tomorrow, Christmas eve. No stress about that, going to spend it rather peacefully with Emil, Leena, Anna and my dad.

Why am I so sad and tired after supposedly having rested for quite a while now?

Tue 2003-12-23 23:37 in diary No comments #link

Sellised naised mulle meelivad

noBrainer

That one's taken of a cash machine in Tallinn, which I, Elina, mom, Ville, Suvi, Annu and Kalle visited this weekend. It was fun, mostly laughing like fools at the strange language those Estonians speak, although that joke's best before -date was in the year fork and hammer.

During the trip we also saw the ballet Swan Lake (Joutsenlampi). I did enjoy it at times, but too often I was just bored and trying to demand someone to tell me what it's all about - in vain. Mostly I was just told I have the wrong attitude or that I should just try to admire the smooth movement of the dancers.

Yesterday, when we got back, Elina and me went to see the Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King. I liked it muchly, plus I got a hugeish inspiration out of it. A mind map and a short story followed. I might publish the story someday.

Today been doing some minor Christmas shopping in Helsinki. Elina left to her parent's place. It's been snowing a lot the few past days and the train schedules are screwed. All the trains are late and the screens in the station were shut down since nobody seemed to have an idea when would which train arrive on any station.

Two programming project deadlines on January 16th. Oh, jolly.

Mon 2003-12-22 19:29 in diary 1 comment #link

Om jag var här

Two exams left before Christmas. Stressed, the User Interface design course exam will begin in 73 minutes, and although I think I know the subjects quite well... but not well enough. There was an earlier exam I took a look at and it seemed hard.

Yesterday I returned to Tampere from Helsinki. We finished the information systems course final work. In the evening spent some time with Hankku. Tomorrow, after the media analysis exam, I'll go back to Helsinki, with Elina. We'll spend the weekend in Tallinn, with my mom and her husband and some of their friends.

On Tuesday I was to Kino Engel with Katri, we saw
Spirited Away. I loved it.

Got my money back from verkkokauppa.com for the Napa DAV-398 MP3-CD-player. They even payed me back the postal fees. I have no Idea what kind of an MP3 widget to get, if any. The ones that seem good enough are too expensive. Well of course.

Eärngwhrr.

Thu 2003-12-18 14:56 in diary No comments #link

shaved

I just got back to my mom's house from the barber shop (or whatever they should be called). I really don't like having my hair cut. I usually have no idea what to tell them to do. They ask me strange questions and I feel like I'm being cross examined =P. I usually don't know what will my head look like after they perform operation x or y. So I just answer rather randomly and see what happens. Strangely enough, I liked the result this time.

On Saturday I went to two parties. First I briefly visited the house warming party of Malixeanz, a friend conprehensive school. After an hour, took off to Olaus' movie night. There were way less people than there usually are in Olaus' parties. Too bad I fell asleep too early, so I only got to see Spartacus (1960).

Exams on Thursday and Friday. Ought to study.

Mon 2003-12-15 12:37 in diary No comments #link

5parnrn3rs ahoy!

Please send lots of commercial e-mail offers to these addresses.

Sat 2003-12-13 15:05 in diary No comments #link

Kalinka yoghurt and starshine

This is evening for me, and perhaps I would like to not be alone, since this is evening for me, and someone at aukea whispered words about gloomy pubs in my ear. So now I would like to be in a gloomy pub but instead, I'm in Vantaa, and after going through the quickest flu in my life (one day it lasted, wonder if it's coming back?) I'm thinking about taking part in a party or two today and tonight. But right now I'm not sure I wish to be this lonely, for lonely I am.

Actually, I don't really feel that lonely, I just thought that would be a nice way to end that sentence. Things that are in my mind, things that have surely been grieved by many before (and after) me. Why don't I long for my Lord Jesus as much as they do, why do I long for the life I've lived before I met Him and actually, I can't really see whether that life has changed that much or not after that - partially because usually it's rather troublesome to see the choices you didn't make.

Why am I awake this early on a Saturday morning when I'm usually not awake this early on weekdays? Well, let me tell you. I left my cell phone in the bus which I used to get to Vantaa yesterday. They told me that the bus was going back to Tampere today at 6:10, so I got up and went to the bus stop. At about half past six the bus was at the Martinlaakso stop and the driver gave me my cell phone back. After that, as if not realizing that I'm supposed to be sick, I spent more than half an hour taking photos, lying on the cold ground. That picture, lonely, is a result of that trip.

Such long sentences I can't be bothered to break and probably some typos, as well. That's me, alright.

Sat 2003-12-13 08:30 in diary No comments #link

sic chick

My flu arrived a day later than expected.

Saw the movie Love Actually yesterday. It was good, for a romantic comedy. After it Hankku came to my place for a while and Nikolay gave her some Strepsils since she's in a flu of a sort, too. In return for his favor, it seems, he filled the flat with cigarette smoke last night, again =(((.

I'm considering moving after Christmas in case I find a suitable place to move to. I'm not sure I can take it anymore and I wouldn't want to have anyone evicted (it's forbidden to smoke in the flat here). Except, in practice, for myself. Maybe I should get him evicted...

Tried to install F-Secure Client Security 5.50 on this machine. The trouble is that the software doesn't seem to tolerate any other firewall software installed on the same OS. I got Tiny Personal Firewall 2 working after removing the firewall part of F-Secure, but ZoneAlarm wouldn't install properly as long as I had any part of FSCS 5.50 installed. So I removed all of it and reinstalled F-Secure Anti-Virus 5.40, and ka-boom - ZoneAlarm and TPF2 work like a dream again.

In an hour I'll begin my journey to Helsinki. My school troubles are pretty much over for this year, with a couple of exams and one project still left to be returned.

Fri 2003-12-12 17:21 in diary No comments #link

smell sweeter

It's really not healthy for me to still be up. I bet I'm going to wake up in the morning in a wonderful flu, provided that I am going to wake up at all. Well perhaps, eventually...

Today we thought about an ER chart which had to do with the information system of a health organization. Later on, I tried doing some usability excercises while pretending to nurse one of the individuals in my life who are in a flu. Yesterday morning, I had to reinstall windoze again.

It really is strange that I haven't seemed in any sense sick all Autumn. Not that I complain, and my hurries are beginning to pass by anyway right now.

I think I've been praying a bit more than usual lately.

Today, I also wrote a poem, and then gave one to a personality. Yes. Now I'm drinking Coca-Cola and wondering how incredibly egoistic it was to link to something I've made months earlier.

I have several, or two, to say the least, blog entries pending to get published. But there are gaps to fill and planes to catch. Less the former than the latter, though, since flying a plane is rather unresponsible, thinking about our environment. There was a beautiful full moon in the sky all day, but now that it's night, it's also cloudy so no moon is available, at this time.

Tomorrow might be a long day, with not enough time to accomplish most things I'm supposed to. Alas, try to enjoy your night.

Wed 2003-12-10 02:00 in diary No comments #link

Being boring (sorry)

Now playing: Louis Armstrong feat. Billie H - My Funny Valentine

The past week has been exhausting and strange. After returning from Tallinn, I've been very much stressed, but now it's starting to ease up. Returned the Windows app project proto microcosm`dash, very much late though. I've been to a journalism exam without studying - but I guess it went well enough.

I saw Matrix Revolutions, which I liked way better than Matrix Reloaded (I actually understood much more now).

Also returned the Napa DAV-398 MP3 CD player, since the playback was interrupted spontaneously once in a while and the user interface sucked. I hope I'll get my money back, soon. I'm probably going to write a review about the thing sooner or later.

Finished a new version of the script for converting Movable Type database entries to Nucleus database entries.

Miesten vessan tekstejä

Jenni Tapanila @ aukea.net

Sun 2003-12-07 15:30 in diary No comments #link

booting the man

Tallinn was fine. Helsinki was fine. I got my tree drawing app finished. Then I screwed up and lost 128 MB's worth of photos. I also had to reinstall w2k. I'm tired and a bit lost, I missed the lectures this morning. I have lots of photos to upload when I find time. I also wrote something more about Tallinn in my notebook so I'll put that stuff here, too as soon as I feel like it.

Tue 2003-12-02 11:35 in diary No comments #link