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drowning or learning to breathe water?

It's been a heavy one and a half weeks, learning to live with lots of Christians (the students here). So far, we seem to be getting along with each other pretty well. I've noticed that compared to many people here, I'm much of a sceptic, constantly questioning both my own conceptions and the Bible's. I find myself tired and thus depressed, but at the same time very happy I'm in a place where I can truly study Jesus and myself. Lots of ups and downs, but I know I'm safe.

Thank you God.

Tue 2004-08-31 18:27 in diary No comments #link

Ehkä vain lapsi

Paljon kaikkea, mutta tärkeintä lienee, että olen kiinni Jeesuksessa - jos jollekulle se vielä epäselväksi jäi, olen menossa Ryttylään Kansanlähetysopistoon opiskelemaan Raamattua, sillä uskon Jeesukseen, elän Hänen rakkaudestaan ja janoan lisää, sillä haluan toimia, enkä vielä osaa.

Olen ollut onneton ja onnellinen, mutta ehdottomasti kiinni elämässä. Useimmiten. Olen alkanut hiljalleen vapautua riippuvuuksista ja kaikesta sotkusta. Silti pysyn tyhmänä, mutta saan pysyä. Olen lukenut Peter Kreeftin Socrates Meets Jesus -kirjan suomennosta, Sokrates & Jeesus, ja nauttinut pitkin siemauksin.

Olen tavannut ihmisiä ja tehnyt niiden kanssa: sieniä poiminut ja lautapelaillut Elinan ja Iikun ja Hankun kanssa, rakennellut Väinösivustoa (.siitätulee HIENO!) Vesan ja Antin ja Paavon (ja muiden, jotka eivät olleet paikalla) kanssa, tehnyt koodaustöitä iskän ja Heikin ja kumppanien kanssa, elänyt ja ollut Anna-Maria -siskon ja Leenan kanssa ja Emilin<3. Tänään Opa tarjosi kiinalaisessa ruokailun ja avattiin maailmaa... ja ja ja. Kaikkia ihkui irkki-ihmisiäkin.

On niin paljon ihmisiä, joiden puolesta rukoilla, ja olen voimaton auttamaan. Ihmiset sanoo aina ettei voi ottaa niskoilleen kaikkien muiden huolia, mutta minusta vain on otettava. Ei ole muuta kuin tämä minun pieni rakastamiseni, enkä sillä mitään oikein voi muutakaan tehdä kuin edes yrittää. Edes joskus.

Siltä varalta, että tuo edellinen kappale kuulosti jollekin joltain retoriikalta, niin ääh. No enpä tiedä, mitä sitten. Ylhäältä se kaikki kumminkin tulee.

Flow Festivaliin ehkä tänä viikonloppuna.

Fri 2004-08-20 00:24 in nettis 2 comments #link

toying

It's been long since I've done anything remotely fun with HTML.

This isn't that fun, but it's entirely useless anyway. There's something that catches my fancy about mouse hover "effects".

sock box

only works in real/graphical browsers such as relatively fresh versions of mozilla, opera, netscape and... so on. no reason to make this work on anything else.

Wed 2004-08-11 00:42 in visual 1 comment #link

Workinboy

Sunday: Tiia's party. Lotsa fun, very nice people to be with, and bonus: they were mostly Christians.

Katri's visiting Helsinki, we saw Fahrenheit 9/11 yesterday. I was disappointed even after reading lots of reviews. It seemed just too popularizing, seemed to me I was being fed another set of "facts" but no way of questioning anything.

It'll probably keep Bush from getting re-elected, though. I heard that's the objective for making the movie in the first place.

Today, gotten myself to work a bit more than usual, though not that much really. Still, satisfied: solved the last great problem we had with XSLT today.

Going to Tampere on Thursday, I guess, to see Hankku and Paavo (to talk about life and the Väinö project).

Tue 2004-08-10 18:06 in diary No comments #link

liquid everyday

Well, it's a hose.
On Wednesday, nearby Töölö library.
Rotate, crop, histogram equalize, hue adjustment

Sat 2004-08-07 16:59 in diary No comments #link

Quicktime to DivX

Succeeded in converting my Konica Minolta DiMAGE Z2 digital camera QuickTime .MOV files to .AVI (DivX), with the help of the MOV to AVI Conversion Guide, MOV2AVI (GUI version). Also, should I shoot videos which are rotated, using VirtualDub I can rotate the AVI videos.

The problem for me was that I couldn't get the audio extracted with VFP plugin for TMPGEnc so I had to extract the audio with MOV2AVI and then combine the AVI video to the WAV file with the guide. I also had the Failure: componentOpenErr problem but that was, then in the end, easy to fix. Also this way, I didn't have to have the MP2 to WAV conversion since MOV2AVI produces WAV.

Sat 2004-08-07 16:28 in tech No comments #link

pick

Spontaneously ended up in a Christian hip hop / reggae concert, thanks to Vesa, Juha's little brother (and a great personality of his own, too =). There were others, but we were "late" so I saw and enjoyed at least LA Symphony and Christafari. Also with us were Sanna and Valtteri, plus after the show Evelyn^ found me outside (=. I heard Hankku's lil' brother was there, too, but didn't see him.

Seems like the pressure is growing to start to confess my color* more clearly: namely, to start preaching (or at least talking just a bit more about) my Saviour Jesus Christ. It just seems that I'm awfully far from that point still. I'm told that I don't need to have the strength to do anything myself, the Holy Spirit will be with me in everything... and I hate to be cynical, since I've chosen the right path in life way long ago. Anyway, the greatest thing to convince me about Jesus is the fact that in my life, I've just been given everything - mainly, loads of love.

It's just that I don't know how to talk about Jesus and my mind is filled with controversies I'm yet to get over. Sure, it's easy to write a word or two about faith in the web but ... I don't know if the problem is that I'm still sceptic, or what. At least I have a high motivation in Bible school, which will start on 22nd of this month.

I was so going to write a coherent rant but I guess I'm not going to reach that now after all.

It's HOT in Helsinki right now (for our taste, anyway) and I've been roller skating like a madman. It's all good. (Maybe I should get some real work done once in a while?).

Yesterday, I met Vaula and Anniina, whom I got to know in Nuorten kesä last weekend, they were lovely. Also yesterday: saw Om jag vänder mig om, loved it, a bit like Magnolia etc.

*("tunnustaa väriä" is, at least, the Finnish expression)

Sat 2004-08-07 02:19 in diary No comments #link

lankeemus lakmus

laukkusanoohei

on vähän tylsää enkä jaksa tehdä mitään.

Wed 2004-08-04 00:40 in visual No comments #link

It will be more than beautiful

Spent the weekend (Thu-Sun) in Ryttylä, as mentioned. It was just great, but then, time spent there usually is (at the end of the day)... didn't spend much of my time watching the programme this time, though. We left the place yesterday, Hankku came to Helsinki with me for a couple of days.

Instead, I prayed quite a bit and learned to see my Faith from yet another point of view. God's kingdom is just... incredible, in every way I can perceive - this time my perceptions had to do mostly with how Christ's love works wonders when people need to work together. I met lots of lovely people, got many chances to give and receive (and screwed up some of them).

Many of the weekend's minutes were spent working - I didn't pay for most of the festival tickets, accommodation or food, but instead "worked for my living". Mostly that meant selling tickets and serving at the "cloakroom", which actually was a tent. A lot of the time it was quite a bit of a hassle, but I guess that's the way it's supposed to be. Some of the time I was way too stressed about getting my work done, though.

Met Hankku's mother, she was lovely. Somehow one could see that she prays a lot or... well I don't know. Enjoyed meeting her anyway.

I also bought a record which has gospel versions of well-known pop songs: ApologetiX - Biblical Graffiti

NP: Baumanin perhe

HS Verkkoliite: Irakissa iskettiin rajusti kirkkoihin

Mon 2004-08-02 09:55 in diary 1 comment #link