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Dieses kommt mir lächerlich vor.

It is wonderful, my day, today. I have trouble coping with such pleasantness of the day in such a ROTTEN world. The trouble is that I might stop doing useful things such as schoolwork (today's not a day for actualy work anyway), while being so busy enjoying myself, or I might start to worry about not doing useful things, which would be even more lamentable.

A great part of this happiness was caused by the lecturer of speech education (or whatever puheoppi would translate to). It is a lecture series in which the lecturer is different every week. At the end of this week's lecture, my natural reaction would have been to give applause as one does at the end of a good stand-up show. But it wasn't one then, and I didn't. While having lunch after the lecture, I got an invitation to the name day of Paavo. I was proud of that.

Today's title was provided by Julieta- (learn Finnish, then click where it says Hyönteislaulu and enjoy) on IRCNet, and translates to this appears laughable to me, which indeed is a proper title for this posting.

Wed 2007-01-24 13:08 in diary No comments #link

Centrum here I come

Right now I'm feeling good. Life is work-filled, but somehow I can, at the moment, see my value without work. That is something, which is not at all easy most of the time. I imagine that for this Spring, I just might be starting to learn to actually live, focusing on perhaps more essential things than just school or just work - moving on, at least a bit, from the basics.

So, um, what is essential? It's hard to describe it without some big, general words. Freedom! Love! Inner peace! The content for these words ideally come from God: I'm free as a consequence of living in a relationship to Jesus, who has also taught me what actual love is and given me the means to actually make it reality (at least at times, when I don't run from it too much). But then, my inner world really isn't always that coherent and often, the associations to the words freedom and love point to whole different places. Anyway, in general, the direction is clear: I trust God to keep a hold of me though I keep losing focus.

Essential will mean studying, but not so much with the attitude of trying to cope anymore, or to survive, but to learn to live. As quite often, the biggest challenge of my life is currently people: how to understand them in various settings, how to communicate with them in a meaningful and a loving manner? For example, I've realized that I actually often respect some people too much, turning my attitude towards them closer to fear, none of which those people usually have expected. So this is something I'm learning out from: to comfront someone as they are, on one hand giving them space to be themselves, but on the other hand also not giving them somehow too much space, that is, showing them being what I am, as openly as makes sense, without fear.

Oh yeah, about the title of this posting: I'm moving to Tampere centrum, near Sokos, at the end of this month. It should be easier to visit me even during a quick visit to the town, and I guess I'll have some sort of a house warming party as soon as I manage to settle down.

Sun 2007-01-14 01:10 in diary #link