After returning to Finland time has just passed, it seems. My work with Moodle, the thesis about Moodle, and the relationship with Minna have filled my mind. At the moment I am in a flu, so that makes it easier to stop and to look around me. I miss several of my friends, and hope they do not think I have abandoned them since I have not had strength to keep in touch. :)

I mostly have the experience in life that if I just concentrate, I can master pretty much anything I am motivated to take on. But I seem to exhaust myself so easily. Life offers too many challenges. Some I accept because of interest; some because of a sense of duty. Over time I have learned to understand my fears and that work continues.

But at the moment, freedom seems distant. Feeling somehow old. Work with Moodle is finding a balance in all of its challenges, and once I get out of this flu I will again find it inspiring. Still, I feel I need to broaden my horizons again. To find an entirely new perspective (how many can there be?). To make myself more involved in real life, whatever that will mean this time around.

To reach out for the God, who I still hope is looking for me, for my strength to hold on to him is pretty marginal at this point.

I am enjoying life with Minna. Mostly, she understands my weaknesses well and I think it goes both ways. We find it easy to spend relaxed time together, while facing difficulties rather directly. It seems balanced, and genuine.

But where is this headed?

Edit 21 September 2011: Link added to thesis